Kapo's Blog...

20/12/2006: Newcastle vs Chelsea (0-1)

2006-12-21T21:36:00.000+08:00

Another solid performance from the lads, another stunning Drogba goal. He's playing like a man possessed right now, fully justifying his 24 million pound price tag.

Hilario - 7
Made a couple of saves, decent performance. He did have 1 or 2 small misjudgements though...I personally don't like goalkeepers who choose to punch the ball when you can catch it.

Ferreira - 7
Did well this game, he has a lot to prove this season after an embarrassing start.

Bridge - 7
Strong performance from the left back, who has just signed a new 4 year deal with Chelsea, much to my delight. He provides very good depth and cover for the squad, and does a great job going forward as well. Was a bit shaky at the start of the season, but seems to have shaken it off.

Carvalho - 7
Had 1 or 2 mistimed tackles, but did pretty well overall. He's had to do much more tackling in the absence of Terry, which isn't really the best part of his game.

Bouhlarouz - 7
A much more solid performance from Khalid the Cannibal this time round, but there's still a lot of room for improvement. He gave Martins too much space and almost let in a goal, and still chooses to back off and use his arms to make up for his mistakes.

Makelele - 7
Did well against the likes of Emre and Parker. Shielded the defence to great effect, and was one of the major reasons Newcastle had so little attempts at goal in my opinion.

Essien - 7
Tireless performance from the tenacious midfielder, although he could have done better with his shooting this time round.

Mikel - 6
Didn't do enough the justify the big price tag on his head. Too young, too raw if you ask me. Has a suspect temperament as well, and doesn't seem to have a high enough work rate. Had 3 very wayward shots on target, which he probably will be working on soon.

Kalou - 8
Impressed me with his work down the right flank, working his way past the Newcastle defence a few times. Definitely one for the future. Pity he couldn't combine well enough with Shevchenko early on in the game, but that's to be expected from 2 new faces.

Robben - 8
Won the free kick that lead to the winning goal with his pace and trickery. Although not very effective in the first half, his second half performance down the left warrants an 8 from me. Solano is not his best in the right back position, and it showed in the second half.

Shevchenko - 7
Decent performance from the striker, worked his socks off in my opinion. Unfortunate to hit the post at the end of the first half.

Lampard - 7
His effect on the team was evident the moment he stepped on the pitch in the second half. Chelsea were a lot better going forward with his crisp, decisive passing and surging runs. Could have hit his shots better though.

Ballack - 7
Not given a lot of time to prove himself, but had a good game. Much more effective than Mikel, and provided a lot more midfield muscle.

Drogba - 8
I'm running out of words to describe this man. Another superb goal from the big striker, who is in unstoppable form right now.

17/12/2006: Everton vs Chelsea (2-3)

2006-12-17T23:48:00.000+08:00

Great game. What can I say...that is what champions are made of.

Hilario - 6
Didn't have any saves to make, didn't contribute much anyway. Can't fault his performance either.

Geremi - 7
I thought he did very well down the right flank today, and did his defensive job decently, although Arteta did give him a few problems.

Ashley Cole - 7
Solid performance as expected from the Chelsea left back, contributed to many raids down the left flank and put in a few good tackles defensively.

Bouhlarouz - 5
I would have given him a 4 if not for a couple of clearances and blocks he made. I personally dislike defenders that dive straight into tackles like he did, and the way he uses his arms to catch opponents will only work against him which was apparent when he gave away the penalty. Lucky to have escaped booking(s) as well. Very, very disappointing performance from him today.

Carvalho - 7
Marshalled the defence decently in the absence of Terry, but didn't have that much to do actually; most of Everton's attacks came down the flanks. Did get himself booked for dissent though, which I thought was quite silly. Still, deserved a bit of credit for the win.

Wayne Bridge - 6
Only had around 20 minutes on the pitch, and didn't really have a big impact, but his added presence on the left might have helped to overload the Everton defence.

Makelele - 7
I would have given him an 8 if not for his slightly unsettled performance in the second half. Did his job well actually, covering the defence. However, I still feel strongly that Chelsea should replace him next season, preferably with Mascherano or Gago. I don't think Diarra is up to the task (yet), and Essien is proving to be much more of an attacking force this season, with his box to box runs.

Essien - 7
Had a pretty solid game today, with his usual swashbuckling style of play. Hardly gave the ball away and strung a few decent passes, but not too outstanding.

Ballack - 7
His superb free kick equalised for Chelsea, but he still does not have a good understanding with the rest of the team. Still needs some time to gel, but he's shown what he can do today.

Lampard - 9
My man of the match. His surging late runs in the second half was the key to victory in my opinion, and his superb long range goal put him in the history books as the leading scorer from midfield for Chelsea, ahead of Dennis Wise. Had a hand in many of the attacks, especially in the second half.

Robben - 6
Had a surprisingly quiet game, but that was because of the position he was played in. Definitely a victim of the system Jose Mourinho has decided to play. Didn't really do much.

Drogba - 9
Another superb goal from the towering centre forward. Simply fantastic. Unfortunate to hit the post earlier on; he has shown how well he has adapted to the english game this season, and his technique has increased tremendously this season.

Shevchenko - 6
Still needs time to settle in and adapt to both the english game and the Chelsea system. 20 minutes is not a very long time to judge a player, but he has shown his willingness to work hard for the team.

Kalou - 7
Hit the post from a sliced clearance from Yobo, and showed a few good touches today. Made a few forays down the right flank, but still lacked the finishing touch. For a player that scored 20 goals in the dutch league last season, I'm expecting a lot more from the talented youngster.

I feel that Chelsea's best formation is a 4-4-2, with Ashley Cole, Carvalho, Terry in defence, Essien, Lampard, Ballack down the centre, Robben on the left, and Drogba in the centre, with Shevchenko playing off Drogba drifting a bit down the right. I've left out the right back slot because that is where i feel Mourinho will look to improve in the January transfer window; I'm fairly sure he will make a move for a right back, which has been a big problem this season. Geremi has done a commendable job, but sadly he's not as classy. If Mourinho can get Phillip Lahm to move to Chelsea that would be great...Bayern are not performing as well in the Bundesliga either.

11/12/2006: Chelsea vs Arsenal

2006-12-11T02:15:00.000+08:00

From today on this is where i will vent my frustration or express my satisfaction. I'm going to rate every individual Chelsea player out of a score of 10 after every match.

*DISCLAIMER* - this is purely my OWN opinion.

Hilario - 6
The only save he had to make ended up in the back of the net because of his lack of strength. Dissapointing IMO. Saw Van Persie's shot late in the first half, a bit too late for me. Lack of concentration.

Geremi - 7
Hardly did anything wrong, but didn't contribute to much offensively, didn't provide enough of the width Chelsea needed because of the formation. But still did quite well.

Ashley Cole - 7
Did well despite the pressure...i would have given him an 8 if not for the lousy tackle which earned him the yellow card in the first half. Decent performance, but he let Eboue in too often for my liking.

John Terry - 8
Towering presence from the Chelsea skipper. Made sure Adebayor didn't have much luck in the air, marshalled the defence well, stood his ground firmly.

Carvalho - 6
Made too many mistakes for my liking. He has a habit of taking the easy way out which i really dislike. Should have stood his ground instead of rushing into challenges, especially against a team like Arsenal. Was partly responsible for conceding the Flamini goal, i feel. Dissappointing performance.

Makelele - 6
Age is catching up with him, and i feel its been quite obvious this season. Didn't impose himself enough on the midfield, but credit to Arsenal for playing around him. He's the main culprit in the Flamini goal if you ask me; he got sucked towards the ball when there were already 3 blue shirts around Hleb. With his ability to read the game, he should have guarded Flamini instead.

Essien - 8
If not for his sluggish and slightly sloppy play in the first half, i would have given him a 9. His goal was absolutely unstoppable, and well worthy of winning any football match. Did very well in the second half. My man of the match.

Lampard - 7
Didn't do a lot right or wrong, but how the HELL did he miss in the last minute of the game? He has not adapted well enough to his new role, which has contributed to his loss of form this season.

Ballack - 6
Looked like a big tree in the middle of the park. Did nothing to prove his worth.

Shevchenko - 6
Has not established a good enough understanding with his colleagues, which i feel is because of the language barrier. Has shown glimpses of what he's capable of, but i feel he dallies too much on the ball and needs to show more decisiveness.

Drogba - 7
Made a few decent runs and created lots of trouble for the Arsenal defence. Too wasteful though.

Robben - 8
His introduction was the start of Chelsea's extended run of domination in the second half. Great work down the flanks, and gave the Arsenal full backs lots to think about with his pace and trickery.

Wright Philips - 5
Came on and did absolutely nothing. Whenever he got possession, he gave it away. Very, very dissappointing.

Camping: Day 1

2006-05-19T13:45:00.001+08:00

This shall be my camping journal for the next few days, few weeks, or few months. Maybe even years.

Virtual camping, that is.

1343 hrs: camped for 30 minutes. one guy warped out. suspicious looking mithran monk in AF that looks like a bot. suspicious looking galka that has [Away] in his comments...must be fake.

1609 hrs: its probably a [Long time] away. played 3 rounds of winning eleven in the meantime. Dun play liao...just stone ba.

1807hrs: 3 pple in a party killed everything including the leeches.

1815hrs: those 3 have gone to Onzozo...did they kill the Leech King? Doesn't matter...taking this time down, still gonna camp it out.

1932hrs: STRUCK GOLD. Argus popped in front of the suspicious looking galka. he really was away. I wide scanned it and went for it. charmed it, but its name turned back to yellow after a while. I panicked, and someone shot bolts at it and damaged it, but the name remained yellow. I whacked it, and back-faced it while stunning and draining. Asked a thf to come down to kill it for me for the Treasure Hunter. Dropped the Peacock Amulet.

[Long time] no post...

2006-04-25T21:34:00.000+08:00

Thought of this parody off the top of my head. Enjoy (or not)...

DoTA I N G
(to the tune of 五月天's 恋爱I N G)

玩你熬夜玩到变白吃也没关系
借人 chicken 借到我 tu lan 也没关系
超感谢你让我 kio frag kio 到 orz
你就是 custom map D O T A~
(D~ O~ T~ A~ D~ OT~ A~）

DoTA I N G owning I~ N~ G
心情就像是 random 到 skeleton king
DoTA I N G godlike I~ N~ G
改变了黄昏　黎明　早上六点我才睡去

你是 sniper confirm 杀人胜过 demon witch
你是 NS 早上 free frag 晚上超无敌
Pudge 能 hook 人又会 fresh meat 还会 rot 死你
这就是 custom map D O T A~
(D~ O~ T~ A~ D~ OT~ A~）

DoTA I N G owning I~ N~ G
心情就像是 random 到 skeleton king
DoTA I N G godlike I~ N~ G
改变了黄昏　黎明　早上六点我才睡去

random Morphling Nortom Banshee Visage Magna Nessaj Viper Vol'jin 我都不想玩下去
不会忘记此刻 D O T A~
(d...o...t...a... d~ o~ t~ a~ D...O...T...A... D~ OT~ A~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

DoTA I N G owning I~ N~ G
心情就像是 random 到 skeleton king
DoTA I N G godlike I~ N~ G
改变了黄昏　黎明　早上六点我才睡去

改变了黄昏　黎明　整个都 DoTA I N G~~~~~

Trailers...

2006-01-28T01:02:00.000+08:00

Interesting revelations about things you've never knew are about to surface soon. Watch out for this space in the near future.

Fishing.

2006-01-23T19:52:00.000+08:00

Courtship is just like fishing; the two variables are the distance between yourself and the fish, and the tension of the fishing line. Reel in too hard and the fishing line snaps; release too much line and the fish escapes.

Just a sudden random analogy.

A word of advice to Mot; you can ask and enquire about the art of fishing from the SAM, Beng, or Keong, but I hope you'll retain some of your individuality and not just blindly follow or mimic what they have done. Don't give your fish a false impression of your true self, or you'll find it hard to keep up with appearances; don't do anything you feel that you will never do again after the fish ends up in your net. Just be yourself and don't be afraid to show both your strengths and weaknesses.

I'm fairly sure you don't need this advice though; I hope you don't make me eat my words like Shao did.

It's sad, but too many people are going out of their way to impress their fish with spectacular stunts (not in the literal sense) and expensive presents. If a relationship could be plotted on a graph with the y-axis being love and the x-axis being time, wouldn't this result in a bell curve? You can do all sorts of things in the process of fishing, but giving your fish false hope is not a good idea in my opinion. I'd very much prefer an upsloping curve, although its fairly impossible in today's society.

And please, ladies, I'm not solely refering to females as fish. We men are fish too. And the same rule applies I guess.

Of course, there are anomalies that will shape and change the curve as we progress in life. May positive anomalies surface for all my brothers out there.

Sisters too.

(Apparently, my fear of feminists is building up.)

Menu is finalised.

2005-12-21T00:30:00.000+08:00

I've finalised the menu. Please select your choice of meat and sauce from the choices available to you for our 没有灯火的 white christmas dinner.

Menu:

Salad - cabbages, diced hard boiled eggs, shredded ham, crab meat, and turnips, lightly tossed in salad dressing and mayonnaise.

Vegetable dish (by request of Mot) - blanched broccoli and baby carrots lightly stir fried with a light, clear vegetable gravy.

Mashed potatoes - LOTS of boiled potatoes, cheddar cheese, and butter, mashed into a smooth texture.

Main Course - a hearty serving of your favourite meat(beef, chicken, pork, or fish) marinated with olive oil, cooking wine/lemon juice, and various herbs and spices, with your choice of black pepper sauce, creamy mushroom sauce, or garlic butter sauce(fish).

Dessert - canned stuffed rambutans and nata de coco, or ben and jerry's ice cream (please specify flavour). Ice cream is highly dependent on remaining budget...

We'll have all your favourite drinks as well.

So there you have it. Please MSN me before the 23rd of December, because that's when I'm going to buy all the stuff. Anyone who doesn't tell me will have to...eat anything I cook for you.

In a flash...

2005-12-10T00:53:00.000+08:00

The holidays are here yet its almost gone.

Nothing much to do.

Shining Force Neo play until pek chek.

Everyday sleep at 5 am.

Wake up at 3 pm.

Laze around and wait for DoTA.

Watch soccer.

We welcome all brothers to 没有灯火的 white christmas gathering.

Expect lots of talk cock sing song.

Maybe you're wondering what's with the minimalistic approach to this entry. Well, the truth is I don't know what to write. I wanted to to post something (anti) religious but I had second thoughts after remembering that someone got jailed for racism. Since Singapore is a multi cultural, multi religious, multi lingual, and multi racial secular state, I better keep my big mouth shut.

Anyways, if you guys are interested in a christmas meal prepared by *ahem* me, here's the menu I have in mind:

Appetizer:

Garlic bread
Soup of the day (probably some campbell's soup)
Crab meat and egg salad

Main Course:

Beef/Lamb/Chicken/Fish/Pork with black pepper sauce
Buttered mashed potatoes with brown sauce

Dessert:

Canned fruit cocktail

or

Ben n' Jerry's ice cream

or

Log cake (subject to your budget)

I'm not joking here. I'm seriously going to prepare this for christmas. If you dare to eat, I dare to cook...

Yaozong's Lone Tree Theory.

2005-10-25T19:47:00.000+08:00

You asked for it, you get it.

One fine friday afternoon (it was my birthday, that's why it's fine), me, Shao, Mot, and Yaozong gathered at Khatib for a basketball session before going off for a massive KTV session. That was when Yaozong came up with some twisted, nonsensical theory called the Lone Tree Theory.

According to him, the theory states that "when something is alone and outstanding, it will always get hit." Some examples would be when I struck (i mean rammed here) a free kick at a lone person in the wall; it was easy to miss the defensive wall since it was only one person, but unfortunately he got hit, or when there's a lone tree in the field and it WILL get struck by lightning since it is the only irregularity. That's where it got its name.

Well, it may seem dumb at first glance (more causal than correlational), but sometimes it does seem true, doesn't it? Unfortunate stuff always happens to that innocent, unsuspecting somebody that just managed to be at the wrong place at the wrong time.

I still think its just a coincidence though. But kudos to Yaozong for providing entertainment.

The wonderful world of TCHSglish (part 8)

2005-10-20T21:54:00.000+08:00

I was busy with my SC3213 term paper yesterday so missed another entry. It seems like I'm starting to run out of words to post. On to today's word...

Fa-ter-si noun/adj

Warped pronounciation of the english word fat. Often used to describe me.

eg. Eh...dun show of your fa-ter-si to me can. Damn disgusting...
(Hey...stop showing off your fats in front of me. It's quite gross.)

Told you I'm running out of words.

Oh, and I did a personality test at psychology tutorial today. Go to http://www.myfirstforum.com/avanguardian-about424.html of you're interested.

The wonderful world of TCHSglish (part 7)

2005-10-17T23:31:00.000+08:00

Missed out yesterday...was playing Shin Megami Tensei: Digital Devil Saga 2. Just wanted to rush through it, but I guess I don't have time for that. Many projects due this week. Anyway, here's the word of the day.

Bing Bing (pronounced Bing2 Bing3, hanyu pinyin conotations) verb

Used to describe a very feminine male, or sissy. Has its origins in the chinese alphabet, where 甲，乙，丙，丁 refers to the alphabets A, B, C, D. Sissy = C C = 丙丙, thus the word. When our chinese teacher (Mr Tan Yew Keng) became interested in our dialect, we coded the term further into bang er bang er, because we detected traces of sissyness in him.

eg. Wah piang eh...u dun always go around school with that bing bing can? Later people think u two gay.
(I think you should stay away from that sissy...people might think you're gay.)

Going to sleep now...have 8.30am lessons tomorrow.

The wonderful world of TCHSglish (part 6)

2005-10-15T11:23:00.000+08:00

After a fitful night's rest, I thought long and hard over what has been going on.

Everyone has their own ideals and values, so I guess I shouldn't be imposing myself on anyone. I just felt compelled to state my stand. I'm not withdrawing my previous statement; I firmly believe in it.

Just came back from a bout of soccer with my brother's friends. We got chased away by some guy from the town council. I think it's time to find some indoor court to play in.

Anyway, here's the next word(s) of the day.

Fa-gou verb

Warped pronounciation of the english word fake. Means to fool or trick someone.

Ma-ke-da-ne-si noun

Warped pronounciation of the english word McDonalds.

eg. Eh...let's fa-gou him we saw her with another shuai man at ma-ke-da-ne-si. See what his reaction is...lol.
(Let's bluff him that we saw her with a handsome guy at McDonalds. Wonder what his reaction will be...heh.)

Lunch anyone? No lunch at home for me.

I must get this out of my chest.

2005-10-15T04:15:00.000+08:00

I chose not to say anything during our supper just now, but I can't stand it anymore. Perhaps this is just my viewpoint, but I thought you might want to think about what I say just that little bit.

Like and love...are two very different things. When you like someone, you want to be with the person because that person gives you a wonderful sensation. Love involves much, much more commitment and sacrifice, not to mention chemistry, something that cannot be explained. Some of the questions I ask myself:

Am I willing to delete Warcraft III and break my cd into half for that person?

Am I willing to respond to all of that person's emotional needs?

Am I able to make that person happy in every possible way I can regardless of my well being?

Am I willing to give up my totally pig-like lifestyle for that person?

Am I willing to give up eating junk food everyday?

Am I willing to run 3 kilometres every day because that person wants me to?

The answer was, and still is, no. At least for now.

Love is not an exchange. There are no cards to lay on the table. What do you mean when you say, either we be together or keep our distance altogether? Are you stating an ultimatum here? I don't believe it; is love something that can be measured in this way? Is love, in your opinion, something that can be represented by chips on the table?

"And i realised something : When you like someone, you want to make her happy when she's with you, so that she'd want to be wif you, and not to just keep her wif you." If your "like" here refers to "love", or something closer to that, I'd tend to disagree.

If I were to rephrase it, it would be "When you love someone, you want to make her happy even if she's not with you. She would want to be with you because she knows you want to make her happy, and she has no obligation to be with you because it's a for of reciprocrating your feelings."

Does that person really want you by her side? Have you ever put yourself in her shoes? Have you ever thought if she was happy when she was with you? What if there was no feeling at all? You mean, even if that's true, you're going to forcibly make her like/love you?

I know you want to do all those things for her. But does she want you to do it for her?

What do you want out of this? Why has this dragged on for so long...? I do not understand your infatuation...I remember you asking me if I want to stay single all my life. I remember you saying you want to be in a relationship. But can all this be forced? There are so many unanswered questions in my head, because I don't really understand it all.

I've thought so many times whether I should post this or not, because I've sort of given up on giving you advice. The times I have tried, I've always got rebuttals that leave me unable to argue. I am a person too, I am sick of failure. I feel that the rest are making a joke out of this, and they are taking it too lightly; I personally think that human relationships are the last thing differenciating us from animals, and it is a highly sophisticated and sacred thing. I do not believe that love can be created; I believe it can be nurtured over a long period of time.

I don't know...I think we all could sit down and talk about it if you want to. But if you think you can handle it alone, so be it. From prior experience, you haven't been able to...

I feel that I'm using harsh words here. Please don't be offended, because there is no other way I know how to express myself. I have always believed in learning the hard way; no pain, no gain. Many things have happened to me that I have always kept to myself, things that nobody else know about. As a friend, as a buddy, as a mate I've known for 10 years, I do not wish to see you in this sort of predictament. I hope to share some of your feelings as well.

I can't sleep if I don't get this load off my mind.

The wonderful world of TCHSglish (part 5)

2005-10-14T20:41:00.000+08:00

Just woke up. Feeling slightly cranky.

I managed to catch up with an old friend from my secondary 3 and 4 days, and found out that he too had came up with a condundrum of our dialect. I realised how much it had changed through the years, and how society and our everyday experiences had influenced the shape and form of our special language...

Anyway, here's another word which is steeped in history, one new users might never have heard of.

Spla-ter verb/adj.

Warped pronounciation of the english word splatter. Also commonly used in it's english pronounciation. Used to describe a situation which had gotten out of hand and ended up in some sort of trouble. Most often used in the form "splattered like bird shit".

Far-ler verb

Warped pronounciation of the english word fail. Means to not succeed. The use of this word can be spread to a wider context outside the formal english language.

eg. He far-ler that module AGAIN and tah bao ANOTHER module. Splattered like bird shit.
(He failed that module he failed last semester again and failed another module in addition. He's in deep trouble this time.)

I apologise to the grand masters of this language, rightfully named by ze hair "Splattered English". Our sacred language has been desecrated...many of their meanings might have changed for me. Thanks to ze hair for refreshing my memory, as well has bringing back the carefree memories of our secondary school days.

Just for kicks, here's the entry from his blog referring to my name. From ze hair's blog:

17. Lin Jiahao
kabo(ka1-bo2/kapor (ka1-por4)/fat
His old class called him Kapo, or Toad in Hokkien. Who are we to dispense with tradition? And he was also fat.

I'm quite honoured to be remembered this way.

The wonderful world of TCHSglish (part 4)

2005-10-13T20:13:00.000+08:00

Maybe I need to have a new blog title. Starting to sound a bit stale to me. Here's the next word(s) of the day.

An-fer-na-de (pronounced as it is) noun

Warped pronounciation of the english word infinity. Has same meaning: the state of having no limit.

Kam-ber (pronounced as it is) noun

Warped pronounciation of the english word combo. Refers to a situation whereby many factors or a chain of events eventually leads to a ruthless package(see below).

Bra-Ker (pronounced as it is) verb

Warped pronounciation of the word break, which refers to the act of ending a romantic relationship with your partner.

Wa-ler-ter (pronounced as it is) noun

Warped pronounciation of the word wallet, which is the thing you use to store your money and other personal documents like credit cards, etc. (DUH...I hope you knew that.)

eg. He really damn suay man these days, he bra-ker with his gf, his com kena virus, his warcraft cd-key kena hacked and cannot play dota, and he juz now realised he lost his wa-ler-ter on the cab. Wat kind of an-fer-na-de kam-ber is that (insert expletive)?!
(He has been down on his luck recently...he broke up with his girlfriend, his computer got attacked by a virus, his Warcraft III cd key got stolen by someone else and can't play DoTA, and he just realised he had left his wallet on the taxi just now. What a huge series of unfortunate events...)

Phew. That's a lot of words to digest. Time to coordinate my sociology of food outing...

The wonderful world of TCHSglish (part 3)

2005-10-12T16:15:00.000+08:00

I did something out of the social norm today: I bought groceries at NTUC. 400 grams of beef, minced pork, 2 packets of sweet peas, 2 packets of pork ribs, garlic, a turnip, a carrot, 2 limes, 2 ears of corn, 4 bottles of Minute Maid lemonade, a 2kg pack of Attack! washing powder, and a pack of dishwashing liquid. I decided not to bring along my mom's red coloured trolley because I thought I would look wimpy in it, but I quickly regretted it. Well, at least it was good exercise...

Time for our word of the day.

Sonic Boo-si-ter (pronounced as it is) noun/verb

Warped pronounciation of "sonic burst". Refers to a fart or the act of farting. Has its origins in the Magic: The Gathering card "Sonic Burst".

eg. EH...u sonic boo-si-ter rite?! No wonder so f***ing smelly lah (insert expletive)!
(Hey...you farted right? No wonder it stinks...)

I'm taking it one step at a time, don't expect all the explosive words to come out so soon. I'm still in the process of compiling more interesting words.

The wonderful world of TCHSglish (part2)

2005-10-11T18:21:00.000+08:00

Time to post the word of the day after a grueling 8 hour day, while waiting for my dinner of meatball soup to arrive. In fact, I'll post two! By popular demand:

Ber (pronounced bur as in burden) noun

Warped pronounciation of the hokkien term bu, which literally translates to "mother", but refers to females in general. Can also refer to someone's girlfriend if subject is attached to a particular person.

eg 1. He going out with his ber later lah...dun have time to eat dinner and play winning 11 with us.
(He's going out with his girlfriend later...he won't have time to have dinner or play Winning Eleven with us.)

eg 2. cha ber (pronounced cha as in charred) noun
Warped pronounciation of the hokkien term chiobu, which means pretty girl/woman.
OMG...did you see that cha ber on the bus? Buay tahan...(insert expletive).
(Oh my god, did you see that pretty girl on the bus? Can't believe my eyes...she's really pretty.)

eg 3. manber/berman (pronounced as it is) noun
Refers to a butch, ie. the male counterpart in a lesbian relationship. Can be used interchangably for comic relief.
WAH LAN EH...u got see that manber juz now? F***ing disgusting leh...(insert expletive).
(For goodness sake, did you see that butch just now? That's just gross...)

Kwo-ker-ster (pronounced as it is) noun

Warped pronounciation of cockster. Usually refers to someone who does/say idiotic things, or "cock up" in army slang. Can also mean dumb ass.

eg 1. Dun be a kwokerster lah...you know there got 3 stunner you still chiong (insert expletive)...
(Don't be an idiot, you know the 3 of them can kill you easily, but you insist on attacking them...)

eg 2. The ber already say she dun like him liao, but he still ngeh ngeh chiong her...like bang wall lidat. What a kwokerster.
(The girl already said that she doesn't like him, but he insists on wooing her..isn't that pointless? What a dumb ass.)

Notice the insertion of expletives at the end of those examples? It's up to your imagination to fill the blanks. It's like a punctuation mark I like to use. I don't mean anything mean actually, it's just that I can't find another better way to express myself. Sociologists tend to fight against social norms, so please excuse my boorish language. Vulgarities are just a punctuation mark for me; I do not have the image of penises and vaginas in my head all the time.

But the smell of fireworks and dynamite in my examples are on purpose though. Time to refill my flamethrower if anyone does mindless, nonsensical, and idiotic stunts again.

My flames are all in the name of fun...take it with a pinch of salt, OK? ^_^

The wonderful world of TCHSglish.

2005-10-10T20:34:00.000+08:00

I found a great way to blog everyday. I'll just put one word of my perculiar vocabulary everyday here, like a dictionary entry.

For those who don't know what I'm talking about, during my secondary school days, my classmates and I came up with a unique language which comprised of a mixture of english and chinese, with some word pronounciations resembling neither; we also gave different meaning to various other words and phrases in the english vocabulary. It was one of those things we made up to differentiate ourselves from the rest...it spread to many classes, and the vocabulary grew even further during junior college.

Today's word of the day is...

Ruthless Package (pronounced as it is) noun

treatment that is devoid of compassion or mercy.

eg. How come he never do anything during the project one...let's give him ruthless package.
(Why has he not done any work for our project? Let's report him to the tutor...no compassion or mercy should be given to him.)

More to come later on...

Obsession.

2005-09-27T11:46:00.000+08:00

Everyone's obsessed with something these days.

Mot's obsessed with AE86.

Camel is obsessed with looks.

Bruce is obsessed with maple.

Shao's obsessed with the usual stuff.

Paiseh ah, the rest I don't what you all really up to. The three attached men have their commitments to juggle with fierce engineering stuff, so I don't really classify that as an obsession. That leaves secrets and me, who are apparently up to no good as well.

Maybe I need an obsession too.

*Disclaimer: this is not a flaming post. No animals/people were hurt in the writing of this post.*

Only fools rush in.

2005-08-25T12:31:00.000+08:00

Cliche, but so true. As proven by has happened to Leoric. (Impale whack whack hex whack whack DANG)

It's Leo's nature to chiong, but are you totally aware of what's going on all around? Must look at the minimap...and see what other people are doing. Especially your opponent.

Enough of DotA talk.

Personally I thought you engineered your downfall by going in too hard...are you willing to keep up with that kind of intensity after your success? A relationship is about keeping up with each other, keeping the mood going, and maintaining that momentum...that's what differenciates Keong with the rest of us. Even Yinhao is unsheathing his sword again, which I personally don't approve. I know he's a responsible guy though. EH...you better don't let your girlfriend down. She's a nice girl, don't live to regret it.

I still don't understand why you so chiong in the first place. You resembled a fillipino maid more than a potential suitor to me. Especially the doing projects and tutorials part. That's more than you could ask for from a maid/chauffeur. You mean you weren't afraid of getting stigmatised...? You're not scared of what other people might say? Now that you've been pawned, are you still driving her around, doing her assignments and projects? If not, you're gonna get pawned a second time, because of the name people are going to brand on you. I hope you're not really the Player we all joke about, because I personally REALLY mean it as a joke; you're a good person, and I don't think you're that kind of a guy.

Pretty harsh words I should say, but these harsh words are only reserved for people closest to me. Don't be in such a rush...I know being in love is a wonderful feeling, and time is short. But you can't rush it like that.

Last thing to say, please look out for your actions from now on. Your management of the aftermath of the battle will determine which adjective comes to mind when people in NBS talk about you..."player", "despo", or "gentleman". You're the one who said that reputation is a big thing in NTU, especially in hall life.

I would like to say I have faith in you, but I think I'd better hold back and watch for now. Thanks to Mot, Camel, and Beng for talking to me about you...we're all concerned about your well being. I don't have to teach you what to do now...be a nice guy, and chuck your disappointment and sorrow into school work.

Maybe I need to get pawned too. I have 6000 pages of readings plus text to go through this semester...maybe I need some negative energy to convert into concentration power.

On the second though...nah. LOL.

School's starting.

2005-08-07T12:25:00.000+08:00

No mood at all. Just when more games arrive, schools starts. What a bummer.

But I guess it's a good thing. Time to go out and move a bit instead of lazing at home like a true blue couch potato. Not to mention I need to clear my IPPT before my birthday...which I will 101% fail. I think I'll just take the static stations and call it a day.

Actually there's a bit of a mood to read up stuff...it's been 3 months since I last touched a decent article. Hope this serves as my driving force for this semester.

Getting a bit sick of Guild Wars because nobody's playing with me. It's really boring when you have to team with those puny americans. It's a good game though...well, just too bad. Guess it will rot at home for quite some time.

Eagerly waiting the arrival of the "goods". I want my Winning Eleven 9, then I can start doing the translations. Time for some league action of our own...bring it on. WU HA!

Pardon the ridiculous outburst. It's due to too much inactivity and a lack of speech these days.

MOP (man of paradox).

2005-06-29T22:21:00.000+08:00

I've always felt that i'm a paradoxical person (if the word "paradox" can be used in such a way). I've always had conflicting views and arguments that i agree with on both sides.

When I was relieving myself in the toilet one day, I realised there was another paradox I had always lived with, but never fully understood.

I'm actually a very selfish person who only thinks of myself; my feelings come first and foremost, I must feel happy, and I will do anything to make myself happy regardless of what other people think. Here's the catch: I realised I feel happy only when my friends and loved ones are happy. Only when the people around me smile, when they joke around, when they enjoy themselves, will I feel good.

Strange.

Midway through the holidays.

2005-06-20T01:07:00.000+08:00

As expected, its thorough boredom. DoTA no longer has significant entertainment value. And there's NOTHING left to do except eat and sleep.

But there's still Champions: Return to Arms! Its a diablo style game on the PS2, and its the last thing that's keeping my mind working. Moreover, i managed to psycho some of my friends to play the game as well.

There's also the Confederations Cup on TV, so maybe its not that boring after all. One big problem i have now is my aircon; its doing an impersonation of the Merlion over at the Esplanade. The amount of water it spews is amazing. I never knew there could be so much water inside that thing. All i can do is wait for the aircon man to come...

Suddenly got an urge to fool around in the kitchen. Maybe I'll get my mom to buy some stuff and let me play around with it.

No chim thoughts this time. My mind is not working at all.

The time has come...

2005-05-05T00:19:00.000+08:00

Non stop gaming!!! Wahaha...

But like i said to Secrets, even non stop gaming is not enough to fill out the three months we have on hand. We need varying non stop gaming, i.e. play different games non stop. Any suggestions anyone? DoTA can't last THAT long...

Perhaps its time to try my hand at something else. Learn guitar? Or play flute again...Nah. Hmmm....maybe I'll try cooking for a change. Not the first time I'm doing it actually, cooked for my family in secondary two and three when both parents were working. Its a good skill to have.

Kick-starting my new forum. Hope you guys can go over and lend me some support, especially in the Winning Eleven updates side. It's not going to be very convincing if I suggest updates of my own.

Mot's birthday is coming up, so is someone else's...no money to buy presents though. Maybe I'll buy you a Boots of Travel for your birthday Mot. If everyone buys you something, you'll become a one man killing machine by level 10. You'll be owning all the way even if you're a noob.

This is a great example for people out there that you can blog even when you're happy! (^_^)b

Come to my forum~

2005-05-03T21:27:00.000+08:00

I've just started a forum at http://kapo.myfirstforum.com It's primarily for gamers though. I thought of putting up something for the class, but since there's already a Yahoo! group there (which almost no one posts anything anyway), I guess it's on hold. A forum might be more convenient though.

Last paper to go, open book entrepreneurial marketing. Sick and tired of it a long time ago, but still forcing myself to read through it. Tagged everything i needed in 3 hours...hope it helps in the exam. Not like i would have much time to read it though.

Anyway, if you're looking for a community for DoTA, winning eleven, super robot wars, or the old flamedragon series, please join the forum~

PUSH~!

2005-04-25T22:44:00.000+08:00

Time to steamroll ahead.

I'm actually beginning to enjoy reading all the stuff i have to read. Even the dreary economics text book. Perhaps the fact that I'm having exams on the 27th, 28th, 29th, and 30th could be the reason I'm having this "illusion". Anyways...this will be a tough semester. Too many skipped lectures.

Selling a lot of my stuff now, to finance my Bangkok trip with the guys. I'm also fasting for one month, thanks to my mother. "Can...can go! Just remember to pay me back," she said. Thanks for the diet mom.

So, whomever is interested in some OLD chinese CDs, my ipod mini for $250, my chinese PC game, or my pile of (crap) Magic cards, feel free to contact me. If not...its all going to cash converter or gramophone. Thanks a lot Aline, for the gramophone suggestion. I think its better than cash converter....at least a little bit more glamorous.

Long time no blog, lotsa thoughts but can't settle down to recollect. Back to my Xanedu coursepack.

People never heed their own advice.

2005-04-04T11:24:00.000+08:00

What a great irony. Despite previous experiences I've seen on other people, despite what I've said before in my previous posts, despite my firm belief in myself, the very advice I've dished out turns back to bite me. Hard.

Talk is cheap...when reality sets in, the anguish and pain one experiences is indescribable. When you told me about all the things I never did or should have done, a bolt of lightning flashed through my head. I guess I should thank you for your harsh words, because I always learn the hard way...I've always learnt only through adversity. Thank you for knocking some sense into me.

I'm only able to say this after a hard night's sleep, but I've not digested everything yet...give me some time, and hopefully I'll be a better person. Someone that's really ready to commit. Just give me some time...I'm still fighting the demon named pride, which is stopping me from fully understanding my mistakes.

I'm not asking for a second chance, I won't. I've seen and heard too many of those on TV and radio, I've always scoffed at them.

I'm 75% there. I know its my fault, 都是为我的错，错过这难得的拥有，就让你爱我的心慢慢溜走。No chorus here, although deep, deep, down inside i want to blurt it out. But i know its too late.

Thank you for the lesson. Maybe I'm not so knowledgable after all...Shao and Beng, I'll try to limit my comments from now on. I'm not in a position to comment anyway.

Being a leader.

2005-04-03T14:53:00.000+08:00

Its really hard being a leader, isn't it?

Its easy to give commands, its easy to get everything done on paper, but its never easy to execute anything. You not only need to have a just and decisive attitude, you need to command respect. Moreover when cock ups happen, its easy to shift blame around, and sometimes it ends up on you.

In my humble opinion, the only way to manage fickle minded people in today's absolutely screwed society (gaming or otherwise), is to rule with an iron fist while listening to everybody's comments, be it constructive or otherwise. There must be one person to make all the decisions for the greater good, but an entourage of smart companions is needed to steady the ship when the going gets tough.

AV has all that...pardon me, but Zerus reminds me of our MM Lee Kuan Yew in the Singapore context. Ruling with an iron fist while keeping everything in order, setting rules and regulations, whilst having the support of people like Cyndassa, Lucran, Axis, and other members who are staunch supporters of the LS. Its absolutely needed, especially in a world where everyone has absolutely no obligation to adhere to any rules, but needs to have a team of great individuals to accomplish great things.

No, I've not been brainwashed by the Singaporean Government's propaganda. Relax.

Just as a concluding statement...Zerus, the LS needs you. Without you, AV will crumble. That's what i think.

R.O.S.E Online~ CMON!

2005-03-25T10:03:00.000+08:00

This is an official invitation to everyone to play R.O.S.E Online. Once you start this, you'll never play MapleStory again. I swear.

Levelling is faster, graphics are better, lag is better, and there's MUCH more depth to at least keep you interested for longer. The GMs are fast to react, and the patching and maintainance is always fast and punctual. Hackers are caught within 3-4 days and are penalised accordingly. All these alone are enough to thrash MapleStory flat...the monsters spawn faster, so you'll have enough to kill even though there are a lot of people in the map. The list goes on and on...

For the benefit of non-gamers i better include some non-gaming stuff here...hehe. I'm going off now to Kbox for some singing, tata~!

Have a nice day ^_^

Disjointed thoughts and loose ends.

2005-03-13T03:39:00.000+08:00

Why is it that whenever i want to sit down and consolidate my thoughts, they always run away from me? Anyways it doesn't matter...i'll just chuck everything together.

Today's KTV session was an eye opener for me. I finally got down to downloading so many of those songs which i always wanted to download but never had the patience to actually do it. And 童话 is a really nice song. (that's why so many people have the lyrics as their MSN nick. Yawn...some creativity please?)

Topics which pop out into our conversations usually head in the same direction (BGRs, soccer, games, school work), today was no exception. Its been some time since we got to do something like that though. It seems that our dear friends are working hard to find a companion of the opposite sex...good luck my friends. The bottle of champagne is waiting...and regardless of where it ends up (on camel's head or in our bellies), we're here as backup.

I think its still early. We're only halfway out of the well, we can only see that small portion of the sky. We're still living in a protected environment, albeit a very competitive one. Anything ideals, thoughts, or theories you have in your scrambled brain now, may not be what you perceive to be in 5 years time.

I actually had a whole speech here, but i realised i'm probably not in a good position to comment or lecture about such things. So i guess i'll stick to what i feel. I've always believed that there will be someone who has that special spark, someone who is made for you. I've blogged about this before i think...in my first few posts. I'm a firm believer in fate, i'll let it bring me wherever it wants to. There will be that one person, whom you can talk to for 3 hours even though its the first time you've spoken to her...the topics are endless, and even after you've hung up, you think there's more to talk about. And the next day you resume your conversation with much enthusiasm, and without any effort. This is "chemistry" i suppose. Its a wonderful feeling to have.

But things don't always work out the way you intended it to be (quite cliche...bear with me), so be careful guys. Don't think you're ready just yet, not many people our age are. Sad to say, we're still greenhorns in the game of life.

I don't have much confidence left in me anymore, perhaps that's why i think there's no rush to get into any relationship. It's just a way for me to escape from reality. Well on the bright side, i can live without a partner for the rest of my life, but that probably sucks. Big time. I also have a huge phobia of failure, especially in relationships. So i guess i'll be alone for quite some time. If i do jump into one, its something that i want to keep for a long time, something i don't want to lose. I'm probably wishing for the stars here...but that's what i want.

Enough of that for now. I think we need a time to settle down and talk about our weaknesses and flaws. Self reflection is never accurate enough. I really want to know how my friends perceive me to be, and what they think i should really change. Be frank with me ok? I promise i won't get mad. Even if i do...i'll probably sort it out in a day or two.

I know i've been a total asshole, especially during my early NS days. For that i really want to extend an apology to my F-platoon mates...i've been an insensitive and irritating campmate. I've kicked those habits though, i seldom borrow money now (except bruce, which i've returned), and i always think twice before spouting any acidic words. I don't think any of my campmates read this though...sigh. Maybe i should organise some get together or something.

I actually have a lot more other thoughts, but they just won't come together. And some others are many lessons in life, but i don't really think i'm in a position to say anything about it. I like to observe and study human social behaviour though...its something i think i do quite well. But that's just me, maybe i'm just being a dumb ass.

Last but not least, i've quit maple story. Thanks to Secrets for buying my assassin. Now i have some spare cash on hand.

Feeling bored...again.

2005-03-07T22:01:00.000+08:00

Sorry to Rusty for forgetting to mention you, and sorry to the rest for writing something that you don't understand...hehe.

I skipped today, simply because i woke up late. Getting lazy these days, but the sociology lecture is simply too boring, and if i don't go for that, i won't go for SS lecture either. Games have proven to be my undoing again. This time its 幻想三国志. Time to hit the books...half a semester's work to catch up. Somehow i think i won't touch my books though.

I want to speak up for Laz though. He was the one who helped me get one of my Paladin quest items, despite just coming over from TC. He was the one who brought me and my team into the hellish Eldieme Necropolis, dying with us in the process. He was the one who came over, again, to the Eldieme Necropolis, when we were hunting Liches for Pokai and the others...and died when we linked an overwhelming group of undead. He never complained a word.

Things change, people change though. I guess its time let this matter rest...i just wanted to speak up for someone whom i thought of as a great friend. When i left he was barely active...if i'm not wrong he was on a job attachment.

Tiring day tomorrow, i think its time to rest.

My other life.

2005-03-03T21:53:00.000+08:00

I always felt that playing my first ever MMORPG had made a very big impact on me. What i did not realise is how big that impact was.

I never regretted playing the game, even though it destroyed quite a significant part of my real life for 8 months. It's a great game, with worlds as colourful as anyone could imagine. Its an alternate reality, where I got to do all the things i always wanted to do, but couldn't do in real life. Ainkurn, Aikawa, Axissandman, Archillas, Asdi, Astrogen...the big "A"s in the linkshell, the ones who kept it going. Lucran and Isocutis, my faithful campmates who joined in the fray. Shao, Dekenny, Issfira, Moralis, and Fifay, my faithful levelling companions. Lazenca and Zerus, my paladin mentors. Bumrush, Pokai, Cyndassa, Eazz, Evren, Numenor, our firing squad. Typrix, our pioneer ranger. Eldaron, our pioneer dragoon. Raulz, our pioneer thief. Precis, our pioneer dark knight. Heushade, our poor NSF RP red mage. Piyuyu, our helpful white mage. Tronian, our resident white mage. Whyu, Cmf, Windvain, Jingjing, Estre, Whizkid, Stonehaven, Ricoz...the list goes on.

But soon the harsh reality of life set in. Things started to turn sour. Our Singaporean pride could not tolerate one another, our Singaporean fervour started to set off a chain of unwanted events that forever changed the way i looked at things.

Its always hard to be a leader. Aikawa had the first taste of that, triggering off the first wave of changes. Pissing off our leader's girlfriend although he made a fair and just judgement, we were forced from our sky blue paradise, into the black pits of hell, of which i had been recommended to be the devil.

Hell turned out to be alright. Pressing on, we made some important progress, building strong relationships and trying to establish ourselves in the realm of Ragnarok. Being the resident cook was a wonderful feeling.

However, good things don't always last. Politics started to arise, meritocracy went to the extreme, and a hierachy started to emerge within our ranks. Being the boss, i was unable to do anything about it, and failed miserably in managing any of our errant members. Parasites plagued our linkshell, overzealous and over confident members began to set out on their own seperate journey. Unable to flush them out or stem the loss of blood, i took a back seat and let nature run its course, let fate take the reins.

Later on, I myself made a seriously bad judgement about a very close friend, which split up my RG forever. Trying to be a smart aleck, i singlehandedly dissolved my uber party which easily got 8k experience per hour. Taking matters into my own Galkan hands, i flopped miserably. On hindsight, it was a really stupid thing to do. I sincerely apologise for what i have done, i cannot forgive myself for making everyone stay at level 60. I could see that everyone was hoping to get together again, hoping to level together again, hoping against hope. But foolish pride managed to stop me from getting together to organise ourselves again. If only i had chose the correct path, if only i had made the right choice, if only i shut my big mouth....if only. Perhaps we would have caught up with the elites in the linkshell. If only.

One by one, my mentors left us. Sick, tired, and totally disgusted with what was unveiling with my own eyes, i chose the easy way out, to leave the black pits of hell, to give way to the pearly white gates of heaven. Other than that, real life was catching up on me, and thus i bowed out quietly, hoping to leave everything behind. I sold my trusty gluttony sword, my seasoned royal guard shield, my beloved astral rings, my hardy iron musketeer's gorget, my cheapskate bat earrings, and my faithful lifebelt, as well as my other fancy stuff. Selling my hard earned gils, all i got an iPod mini in return, which i guard with my very life today. Thinking that i had deleted my account, i sold my copy of the CD over the net, only to hear that he turned my blood, sweat, and tears into a fishing bot, silent, mechanical, and lifeless, forevermore.

By the looks of it, Zerus is doing a great job of handling affairs. Diplomacy is something very valuable these days. Commanding respect and leading by example is the hallmark of every great leader. Finally, AV has a suitable man for the job.

Although its too late to do anything about it, it has been a wonderful experience for me. However it has also successfully kept me off such MMOs; some sort of phobia has struck me. The intensity, the passion, and the effort that goes into the game is fantastic, but there will forever be people behind the screen. And to err is human.

It is pointless to say "it's just a game", or "its just bytes of data being transferred around". It is another life, where people live out their fantasies. It is another life, where people do what they never would have thought possible. Its another life, where emotions will run wild.

Thank you for living that life with me. I wish i could have done more, i wish i could have gone on. But Kapo, the Galka PLD61/WAR30/THF26/RNG26/WHM19/BRD14/BLM10/
RDM15/SAM14/BLM13/DRG8/DRK8 is gone forever.

And there is nothing worth remembering about him.

Visiting the forum just now, all the memories started to flood back in a huge tidal wave of scenes. The industrious sounds of bastok, the serene sounds of selbina, the lively sounds of windhurst, the majestic sounds of sandoria, and the hustle and bustle of jeuno, all started to play in my ears.

These memories will stay with me forever.

I've always wanted to meet everyone in real life. I missed the chance this CNY though, hope there will be another chance to do so.

Now back to reality...and the econs mid term test tomorrow.

Life is full of cock ups.

2005-02-23T23:17:00.000+08:00

Major cock up today. Sorry about it Bruce, i'll pay you the $550 i owe you back. Just give me some time...

It has already happened, so no point harping about it anyways. Life's been rather uneventful though, from the LONG time i haven written anything here you probably would have guessed. Well, let's just say Maple Story has taken over. Nothing else matters...

Many things on my mind now though. My aging parents and how long they can work is one of the biggest problems i'm thinking about. I suddenly realise that i'm a parasite, a leech, draining all their hard earned money away. Its about time i started to pay them back. But how...? I seriously doubt i can get even a second upper degree now. I'm even contemplating the job which i have always fervently complained about, being a teacher. Maybe it isn't that bad after all...

Its still some time away, but time and tide wait for no man. Think its time to plan ahead, on how to pay my $2000 NUS laptop loan, on how to pay my $18000 NUS tuition fees, and how to find a job when i graduate. For my aging father and mother.

Posting for the sake of posting.

2004-12-09T22:30:00.000+08:00

Seems like everyone else has stopped blogging. 三分钟热度, i guess.

It's quite true really, it doesn't have to be sad stuff that goes on the blog all the time. Most of the time there is some sort of self sarcasm though, just to entertain readers. Just something i've noticed about some of my friend's blogs.

I couldn't continue playing Final Fantasy VII at all, after i saw the shiva summon graphics and i recalled how sexy shiva was in Final Fantasy X. I was absolutely horrified at the large contrast, and i immediately turned my PS2 off. I don't think i'll be going back to that anymore.

As a replacement, i bought Star Ocean 3: till the end of time off Yahoo! auctions, but disc one was spoilt, unfortunately. I emailed the seller 6 times i think, and i got a curt reply saying he'd give me another game if i really couldn't play the game. I personally think its reasonable, but he hasn't replied my emails about what games i can choose. I was really enthusiastic about the game, but luckily Bertram was able to get a copy for me. Thanks bro, i owe you one.

Feeling bored, blogging on. Someone entertain me, or give me a chance to entertain you...

Relieved.

2004-11-28T22:01:00.000+08:00

Exams are over. Its the first time i've felt so relieved after exams.

The problem now is finding some games to play. I'm on a shoestring budget that will not allow me to play anything too expensive (that rules out WoW), that's why i'm reduced to reliving the journey of Cloud Strife and his band of merry men (and women). I guess its more DoTA, Julien's RPG, and miscellaneous old games again.

KTV, anyone?

Its faded...things change.

2004-11-25T13:52:00.000+08:00

Things change, people change, ideals change, feelings change. All the time.

All this while, as my environment changed from constantly reading and going for lessons, to shutting down 90% of my brain power for two and a half years, to revving up my mental engines again after so long in a half-serious environment, it seems that i've changed much as well. From a spoiled brat, to a lazy and f***ed up asshole (pre-DB), to a mentally and physically better person (post-DB), to a critical, thinking person.

Only today, however, have i realised how impractical i was before when i came to relationships. I guess i can sort of justify it through spending four of my adolescent years in an all boys school (which i have not regretted as yet), but i was really quite silly. I was holding on to it for so long, never realising that it was really quite dumb, thinking that i was some 痴情男子 who deserved something out of it. Tsk...rubbish.

Previously my heartbeat would race faster than a F1 circuit Ferarri at the mere sight of her, my eyes would light up, and my face would be locked in some sort of stunned expression. Now its different. Although my eyes still light up (she's still as attractive to me), the other "side effects" are very much gone. This is sort of a personal victory to me, i'm happy for myself for being much less stupid. I guess Mr Max Weber (pronounced Vaeber) aka Mr Rationality and sociology has taught me to be more practical, in a way.

However that has not changed my perception of a relationship. I'm convinced i'm still the same person i would be.

To all my brothers out there who are still very eligible bachelors, lets enjoy the nice turkey this christmas, while our attached friends enjoy their (hopefully) christmas eve. I'm not being sarcastic here. Serious!

Sorry Excuses.

2004-11-23T22:58:00.000+08:00

For the very first time in my life i began to realise what a klutz i really am. Fooling around and taking it easy later, I'm finally tasting the fruit of my labour(or lack thereof).

What kind of sorry excuses have i concocted all my academic life? "Too easy", "simple stuff", "can wait till tomorrow", and "i can handle this easily" are just some of the drugs that i have taken all this while. The side effects of this mixture of deadly medicine is about to surface soon, when i collect my results at the end of the year.

After thinking for a long time, and almost taking another dose of medicine named "sorry excuses", its time to wake up to the sound of alarm bells ringing, time to face the music. Many extreme ideas are popping into my head, on how to rectify the sorry state i am in for the next semester, the semester after that, and the semesters after that until the year i graduate. Hopefully it will be four years, but by the looks of it I'll have to make do with three.

I would like to thank my friends though, especially Mot. He's the one pestering me to study these days, and although i looked at your smses with a frown, i have seen the folly of my ways. Thanks to the rest as well, for showing me that studying and then finishing your exams with a satisfied smile is a million times better than going for your exams and coming out with a bewildered look on your face.

I wonder what kind of measures will i implement on myself. So far nothing i have done actually works, since i never bear to restrain myself in the many ways i could have. This has been a really humbling experience.

Feeling...not so smug after all.

2004-11-19T21:23:00.000+08:00

Right after the EL1101E exams i was feeling good about myself. But not anymore, now that i've read the suggested answer key. There are obviously many things to dispute, but i accept my mistakes. Quite careless as well...next time i must play very, very safe and put down everything. At least language is a very debatable subject; i'm hoping for the best...

Not much to blog about since i've spent the last 3 weeks at home, playing Football Manager, DoTA, Dynasty warriors 4, and Winning Eleven 8. I'm just courting death here, aren't I.

But nothing will change my mood for supper. NOTHING!

Crunch Time.

2004-10-31T21:08:00.000+08:00

Exams are nearing~ Hurray!

Its that time of the year again. Everyone looks so stressed, especially our NTU pple. This is only semester one man, if you're so stressed now how to handle subsequent years? Obviously some are handling it much better than others. Please don't let mere examinations make your life so horrible, make your mood so gloomy. There are higher, harder obstacles up ahead after your tertiary education. Believe in your ability.

I never believed in mugging, i believe in quality time spent, be it 10 minutes or half an hour. There's no point in exceeding that, because studies have shown human attention spans to be around 22 minutes at the most.

But still...the whole lot of you guys are still better off than me. I'm still playing CM and DoTA everyday, still lazing my afternoons away, still unwilling to put my heart down to read up. I finished my sociology and geography though, that's all i've done for now.

To everyone facing the exams next month, good luck. Especially me...i'll need it.

珍惜眼前的东西.

2004-10-25T23:29:00.000+08:00

梁静如 is really that damn good. She thoroughly deserves her two 最佳演绎女歌手 awards, she has a really heavenly voice. She looks so much better than before, too.

With all due respect, i should probably place one of her songs here. But its actually another song that really struck me on the journey back home. Its a song by B.A.D, titled 我的错。

我的错 B.A.D.

飞机已离开机场
你选择了前往你的方向不在迷惘
望了我们爱的过往
望了我给你的伤学会坚强
从前的我不懂你牺牲多大
为我失去朋友不讲还放弃了所有梦想
觉得没怎样不会将心比心去想
让你慢慢慢慢失去了希望

能不能够在给我机会好好的爱你
我会仔细的聆听你对我说的一言一语
我会学会去控制脾气不让你伤心
对你好好地去珍惜请你相信我的心还是爱你

我想在重来一次
回到过去弥补你的伤没那种事
怎么做才能够停止
后悔竟伤你如此不在放肆
为何总到失去才懂得难过
你在我身边的时候总是为我默默守候
都是为我的错错过这难得的拥有
就让你爱我的心慢慢溜走

能不能够在给我机会好好的爱你
我会仔细的聆听你对我说的一言一语
我会学会去控制脾气不让你伤心
对你好好地去珍惜请你相信我的心还是爱你

I like this song very much, its quite catchy. Remember not to take anything for granted, before it slips between your fingers.

Utter Rubbish.

2004-10-25T14:13:00.000+08:00

After a conversation i immediately sat down to write this entry despite being in the middle of reading my sociology reading packet. The behaviour of people never fail to impress (or irritate) me.

You don't have to make excuses for everything. If you don't want to do something, just say so. Don't find some lame excuse to persuade other people that it's inconvenient, or it's "hard" to do. Just tell us "i think its too far, i'll pass", or "i don't feel like doing it". Simple as that. And these excuses are coming out from someone who has declared that he's always being himself, not wearing a mask, and at the same time commenting (with a bit of venom) about others who wear masks all the time.

I don't want to go into details about this, just realise that you're making up many excuses and trying to hard to make yourself look good (not in the literal way). Sometimes its better to be straightforward, than subtle but easily seen through. If you want to sleep, just say so, you don't have to ask more details about other things.

Before you comment about other people, look at yourself. This is applicable to anyone who reads this, not just my apparent subject. If you're pissed, i can't do anything about it. Sorry. Too bad.

Slightly dissapointed.

2004-10-21T20:31:00.000+08:00

I'm 21 today. The result was as expected, nobody remembers my birthday except my parents.

I had thought long and hard about this day previously. I always try to remember birthdays of people close to me, like my parents, brother, and close friends. But i paused to think, do they remember mine?

I am the sort of person who will give everything for his close friends, but expects the same in return. But this is obviously impossible; everyone has his own things to do, escpecially now, when exams are nearing. But to send a small sms, or an MSN message is not a mammoth task that takes an insane amount of time. I'm exaggerating a bit though.

That's why i get pissed at very minor things sometimes. After looking at the tagboard, it further confirmed my previous thoughts; my birthday is nothing to anybody else. Actually its not important to me either; its just another day, another 24 hours to enjoy life with. But a small reminder, no matter how short or how subtle, will really brighten up my day. Perhaps i'm just not close enough to my friends.

All these are thoughts across my mind. Don't worry people...you're still my pals. Probably because i got nobody else. After another round of thinking the dissapointment has faded somewhat, because its really nothing. I just want everyone to know, sometimes its the very little things that really make an impact on another person.

Happy 21st birthday to me. My birthday present, other than some money my mom gave me, is a 1000 word mid term paper about the creation of the solar system and earth. The sense of satisfaction is not bad.

The moon is high these days...

2004-10-20T18:53:00.000+08:00

Seems that the moon is playing a bigger part in changing lives these days, other than pulling the tides and illuminating the night sky...werewolvism is running rampant. As usual names will not be mentioned, but i personally think it might just be going slightly overboard. It seems that Goosai is the one who's leading the simplest and happiest life. Chiong suah, read 金庸 novels, DoTA, eat, and sleep are the only stuff in his life. I'm not being sarcastic here, really. It feels good to live simply. And get paid at the same time.

Many issues have been discussed these days, and i've decided to take a neutral role nowadays. Gone are the flaming and swearing days, maybe i'm just tired of all that. We are turning into a bunch of mad guys who focus on looking at each other's flaws instead of each other's merits, due to some reason or another. I'm wondering how some of us became so critical and sensitive, as if anything we say or do had some hidden agenda or meaning. Even if it HAD some hidden agenda, let it be. We're not in a position to comment about what other people do.

Look out for tomorrow's blog...i've saved some material for tomorrow which will be influenced by simple, yet important things to me. Happy or sad, it all depends on tomorrow's outcome.

A final word...complaining and commenting excessively on someone else's behaviour will only make you a sad, pessimistic, and bitter person. Perhaps we should focus on how to help that person instead of ranting about it.

Beware of men...errr i mean werewolves.

2004-10-07T13:29:00.000+08:00

Its sad but true. Men are all innately beasts, no matter how quiet, composed, talkative, cool, handsome, ugly, humourous, or lame they are. Of course there are nicer beasts, but in the end it all boils down to the same thing. Some people immediately turn into werewolves at the sight of the moon (members of the opposite sex in this context), regardless of race, language, or religion. Some turn into demi-humans, becoming chatty and provocative, occassionally trying to get some attention. Some suddenly quiet down and turn into brooding, thinking people, while hiding the tail in their pants. While others just try to be themselves, but nonetheless start growing a bit of hair out of their chest.

I saw this transformation pattern in full flow yesterday during sociology lecture, with 4 full blooded guys sitting around 2 girls, one of which was quite pretty (i would personally say above average but i don't want to offend anyone). And it all came to be expected. The centre of attraction was obviously her, but everyone did something to attract attention. I became one of these targets as the person asked me, "Excuse me sir, is the seat beside you occupied?" The problem was the person on the other side of the seat was his friend, and he asked him the same question, drawing a bewildered look from him. The topic on everyone's tongues was something which desperately wanted to associate themselves with her. A great social setting to show modern social values during sociology lecture. Perfect.

But girls...beware the silent one. He's either the most ruthless, cunning, and unfathomable creature you'll ever meet (i'd say 80% of them fall into this category), or still ruthless, cunning, and unfathomable, but to a smaller extent. This 20% has a tinge of gentleness and care in them that mellows them down, but trust me they're still beasts. There is no 100% human male in this world. Except those with slightly more female hormones, of course. They are ironically more human than any of us, and probably care more about you.

After flaming my male compatriots so much, i should probably make a statement stating that there are these few endangered species that are maybe around 45% beast only (this is so cliche). These guys would probably be the ones that really are ready to commit, care, and be responsible. And of course, to use the adjectives handsome, caring, tall, dark, faithful, and responsible on one subject is highly unprobable. So girls, enjoy yourselves picking out the needle in the haystack.

Enough of flames...i hope to have a KTV session soon, people. I've been singing 黑色幽默 at home to myself, and i suspect my neighbours can hear it. I need an avenue to release my voice. I've also just experienced for the 1st time in my life, my bed covered with maps, notes, textbooks, and tutorial sheets. All this for one goddamn geography practical.

As always, i prefer to put my thoughts down rather than everyday stuff. Good luck to Fins, Yinhao, and Keong, our 3 budding engineers in different fields. I really feel sorry for you looking at your timetable and workload, while i play DoTA, Final Fantasy IX, and Winning Eleven 8. You'll always have my (moral) support.

Hmmm...爽.

2004-09-27T22:34:00.000+08:00

Its been some time since i went to a chalet and had decent fun. Seems that asparagus wrapped in bacon with some garlic powder sprinkled on it is quite a gastronomical wonder. I must remember to make them the next time we barbeque...if there is a next time. Its just too much trouble organising one.

Playing hearts, 2 versus 2 Winning Eleven 8, and a bit of half-hearted soccer and basketball was pretty relaxing for a change. Staying at home for extended periods of time was starting to test my sanity. Although the $16 dollar lunch at the golf course cafe was total crap, i guess i enjoyed myself at the chalet. Not to mention near free flow of soft drinks...all thanks to Leoric's parents. Three cheers for them~!

However the most 爽 thing must be returning to school. With a hastily done sociology tutorial, and a half hearted attempt at reading some chinese, its time to return to the realm of academics. Time to bring on the mid-term tests...the time of reckoning has come.

The End is Nigh.

2004-09-23T20:50:00.000+08:00

Its a wonder how people can change over the course of one night. From the brooding and worrying 2 days ago, to the carefree and relaxed now. I have 2 tests coming up, one of which is my sociology test, which carries 40% of my grade. Another one is my chinese test, which i have never even touched before. Not to mention that sociology tutorial is STILL not done yet. And what am i doing here? Patiently waiting for my friends to show up for a DotA session.

The only thing in my mind now is the coming chalet tomorrow. Its been some time since we've been able to get together like that and have some fun, do stuff like play basketball, soccer, and swim together. Not to mention the free barbeque(s). I think there's something wrong with my brain. Stress always fails to mount, things always turn out alright. But Luck is not something i should rely on. I've never suspected my ability though, i'm sure i'll be able to pull through with my limited knowledge. Or scrape through for that matter.

I think its because of this "1st class honours" thing at the back of my head. Only now have i realised that its not everything to me: being happy is. Why stress myself out with thoughts about the future, when things that are right in front of me have not even happened. I've always been an avid fan of "fate", be it in relationships (which might seem passive to you guys), studies (i've always let my heart control when i study...not my brain), or even food (when it comes, it cannot be stopped; just look at me man...). "Fate" has dealt a kind hand to me so far...but it will strike me down one day.

That is why i feel, the future is NOW. Let's take things one at a time, take things easier, and enjoy myself first. Let the sky fall if it will, life has to go on after that. Multiple PhDs and lots of cash cannot be brought to the grave (an old cliche), but memories live on forever. That is what i want to leave behind.

Term Break: the beginning of the end.

2004-09-20T11:35:00.000+08:00

Now that term break is here, i should feel some weight off my shoulders. On the contrary, its the other way round. Projects and tutorials are just waiting to be finished. The workload is not all that simple either, so 4 days may not be that much in fact. Why do lessons resume on Friday? This is so damn stupid.

I really don't feel like doing anything at all. That's why its the beginning of the end...i should be working hard now but i'm not. Holidays and breaks never fail to bring out the laziest in me, but non stop lessons will inevitably cause burnout. Life is full of conflicts. Perhaps whining a bit here will give me some energy to finish up that irritating sociology tutorial that has plagued my mind these few days.

Time to get down to work. Before it REALLY becomes the beginning of the end.

Combowhored.

2004-09-15T21:05:00.000+08:00

I just had 8 hours of lessons, straight. Fortunately i'm still alive and kicking, still have enough left in me to type. I foresaw this coming actually, and was mentally prepared for it. Although the powerpoint slides still seem to be flashing a bit in my eyes.

I even had enough energy left to join my friends for dinner at Khatib. Seldom do we have 7 people together for dinner nowadays, not to mention the gracious company of 2 pretty girls. Yinhao, thumbs up for you. Very compatible i should say, congratulations. Just don't let anything slip through your fingers like someone else we know *ahem*. Although 旧爱还是最美, but i think its better to stick to 情人(爱却更多, 虚情假义的话不说). Remember, (我们的)爱, 过了就不再回来. Hope you're not goofing around.

The much awaited one week break is around the corner. Never have i felt the need for such a short, 4 day break. The perfect time to catch up on work, do some projects, and finish up my sociology tutorial. But i really wonder how much time will go into that. Too many distractions around me, namely Championship Manager, DoTA, and playing Chrono Cross again. But i'll be fine i guess, interest in games are really fading away now.

Can see that i'm quite busy right? Sigh...so Lingyun, you still want me to organise some class outing ah. Not that i don't want to, but i really quite doubt how many people i can get. Sometimes its 有心无力, you know. Cross your fingers, maybe i'll be able to muster some energy to SMS everyone and TRY to organise something. No promises though.

The only lost souls now are Shao, Mot, and Me. We can only 相依为命 for now, and keep our eyes peeled. I always have this feeling that the commando is starting his "sabotage behind enemy lines", so i didn't include you. Why does my blog always have to end this way...

The wonders of science...social science, that is.

2004-09-08T23:41:00.000+08:00

Just when sociology lectures were becoming quite a bore (Dr Todd's hypnotic voice...), we got a treat today. Dr Saroja Dorairajoo was brilliant today, and probably entertained us more than she lectured us. It will be a loss to NUS after she leaves for Yale University, but well, wish her all the best. Bundled with the teaching assistants, one of which was my controversial tutor Kelvin (gay or not?), she delivered a guest lecture that we'll probably never see again.

Sociology has really set me thinking a lot, about how people conform to the demands of society, but also change society as well. Its a fascinating two way interaction which cannot be explained by one hard and fast rule. One can only strike a balance between different views. Have you ever thought, why people dress the way they do, why you behave they way you do in public, why you don't pick your nose (otherwise known as OPS) in public, and why you don't hold hands with friends of the same gender? Its all part and parcel of this man made thing we call society today. And what happens when you break the rules? You get ostracized, get scolded, or maybe just get funny looks from passers-by.

The point i want to get across is, there's always many, many underlying factors to everything we see in everyday life. Who gets to decide what we should, and should not do? How come we're not allowed to OPS...i mean pick your noses , in public? Who said that its impolite? And its not unhygenic, we can always to it and clean up with a tissue. Who said burping after a meal is disgusting? Can't i even dispel the gas out of my bloated stomach? Of course, please don't do all that i've stated above...or you'll find yourself friendless after a while.

These are just small issues. There are other bigger issues at hand which i am probably not in a position to comment on, like the Dr Chee Soon Juan case recently. I personally think that he's a dumb ass, but that's just me. Fortunately, he's the only one of his kind in Singapore. I feel rather strongly about this, but getting on my nerves because of that man is a waste of my brain cells.

Just a word to everyone...things are not always what they seem. Always take everything with a pinch of doubt, even our "ever so reliable" Straits Times and Mediacorp news. At least we're better than the Taiwanese media...ooops, should i use the word "Chinese Taipei" instead of Taiwan? I hope i won't get blasted by Chinese officials for this.

And by the way, there's a chain of 21st birthdays coming up. Heads up...

Poisoned once again.

2004-09-07T22:23:00.000+08:00

The venom of loneliness is taking its effect once again. Slowly and steadily, it corrodes away at my heart and soul, filling it with melancholy, edging away at my vitality...and the source of the poison is none other than memories etched in my head.

After playing Chrono Cross again (it has a GREAT storyline, especially if you played Chrono Trigger, but the gameplay is suspect...), thoughts start to materialise. Have you ever wondered about the choices we make? What happens to the choices that we choose to abandon, and where does the time go? Every choice we make affects the future. What happens to the possible future that we gave up? Is it possible that there's an alternate reality somewhere in another dimension, where things happen the way they would have if you chose another path?

Of course we shouldn't believe in such things...its just another video game. However, we can always try to enrich ourselves as far as possible. One thing is that there's no more turning back once you've made a decision. The chance to make the other decision is lost forever into the depths of oblivion, therefore...its so important to think twice about every thing you do. Tread warily on the thin ice of the capitalist society today; one wrong move will send you plummeting into the icy depths of failure.

Another thing is to cherish whatever you have now, because you'll never be able to get it back if you don't hang on. So many things have happened in my short 21 years of life, yet so many things i have regretted. My myopia must be getting worse...i failed to recognise and prioritise which were the most important things in my life. That's why things have to start now. Perhaps Shao is more "longsighted" than me.

Perhaps...its time to find the panacea that can heal my poison, or maybe just plug that hole in my heart. Fighting fire with fire, using the essence of the poison to combat itself. To find someone to share my feelings with. To find someone to care for. And to do that something which i never had the courage to do when i was a problematic, rebellious JC student. I wanted to call myself "kid" but...hey. A bit too degratory i think, so i'd better use "student".

You can treat this as a the ramblings of a fool. Just know that the Stealth Assassin is getting lonely, and his hit points are getting lower and lower...while searching for the fountain of restoration that can breath new hope and life into him.

When i was still a brat.

2004-09-05T14:29:00.000+08:00

After reading sociology text, i began to recall fond memories of my past, when i was a 3 year old brat. Sociology has its way of appealing to me and making me think a lot about why we're living the way we are, and how have we conformed and rejected certain cultures that have forced its way into Singapore, and what people are willing to do or sacrifice for the ones they love.

My mom had always told me how troublesome i was when i was an infant. I would wake up in the middle of the night, wailing away. My mom would wake up herself and feed me, or pat me to sleep again while my father slept. And how my younger brother turned out to be the exact opposite...the quiet baby who seldom wrecks havoc.

For one reason or another i remember my 3 year old life quite vividly. Many things happened during that year...i moved into my home in Yishun back then, celebrated my 3rd birthday in an empty house with only a table. My doting grandfather passed away that very year, and i didn't even know what went on. All i did was play with incense with my cousin, and got burnt rather stupidly when my cousin wanted to know if the glowing incense head was hot...i graciously let him try it on me.

I also remember my frequent trips to the Singapore Science Centre when i was a kid, before i went to school. My mother would bring me there to try everything out, and i was intrigued by everything there. The electronic devices, the plastic ball bobbing atop a current of air, the wonders of science. And it would always end up with a trip to the Science Centre Burger King.

However the things which struck me the most was how my mother let my imagination run wild everywhere, even in public. As many of my friends would know i have a *ahem* pretty loud voice, and when i was a kid i didn't, or perhaps didn't find the need to, keep my voice down. I talked at the top of my voice everywhere, even in class during primary 3. I suddenly recalled that my mother never once stopped me from having my "kid's talk" on the MRT train, on our trips to the Science Centre. I would talk to the passing trees, bridges, and buildings en route, mimicking what i felt were their voices...trees would have old, gruff voices, while small buildings would speak with a squeak. And all this, of course, was done at the top of my loud, shrill kid voice.

Looking back now, i must have made my mother very embarassed. But my mother not only took care of me, but also took part in such conversations that i had with Mr Tree, Mr Overhead Bridge and Mr HDB Flat...she discarded social norms and let my imagination develop, just to give me the best she could offer as a mother. Look at kids nowadays...kids who make a ruckus on board an MRT train would be looked upon as brats or kids with no manners, 没家教. I must have been some brat then.

Another things was the family concept at that time. My mom did almost everything her way, and always gave me the best since i was a wailing, troublesome baby. The electric fan would always be pointed in my way, even though all my aunties would say that it would give the baby illnesses and problems when he grows up. She bought me books for my 1st birthday, which my paternal relatives laughed off as a joke, saying "how can a 1 year old child read them?" And of course i stunned them all when i was spewing perfect english when i was 3 years old, and subsequently topped my school in primary 1 and 2. All this because my mom read me books all the time, and painstakingly drew countless cardboard pictures of fruits, vegetables, and things like cars and trains, exposing my young 2 year old brain to them all the time.

All these things helped shape the person i am today. My mom sacrificed herself to give her very, very troublesome baby a good foundation, and i guess it has paid off somehow. This made me ponder...would i be able to do the same for my child? Would i be like the typical parent on an MRT train, telling my kids to shut up and stop making noise? Would i be able to stand up to the challenges of giving my family all i have to offer? I guess its all too early to think about.

One thing is for sure, i'm proud of my family and i'll certainly emulate whatever i think i have benefited from my parent's ways.

Go The Distance.

2004-08-31T17:25:00.000+08:00

Whoa. Seems like someone is quite pissed by the looks of his blog. Relax man, your 21st birthday is coming, so loosen up...

Secrets, Fins, and Shao's birthdays coming up, so i think i should come up with something encouraging for once. Here's another song for you guys, from Disney's Hercules.

Go The Distance
Micheal Bolton

I have often dreamed of a far-off place
Where a hero's welcome would be waiting for me
Where the crowds will cheer when they see my face
And a voice keeps saying, "This is where i'm meant to be."

I'll be there someday, i can go the distance
I will find my way, if i can be strong
I know every mile will be worth my while
When i go the distance i'll be right where i belong.

Down an unknown road to embrace my fate
Though that road may wonder, it will lead me to you
And a thousand years would be worth the wait
It might take a lifetime, but somehow i'll see it through.

And i won't look back, i can go the distance
And i'll stay on track, no i won't accept defeat
It's an uphill slope but i won't lose hope
Till i go the distance and my journey is complete.

But to look beyond the glory is the hardest part
For a hero's strength is measured by his heart.

Like a shooting star, i will go the distance
I will search the world, i will face its harms
I don't care how far, i can go the distance
Till i find my hero's welcome waiting in your arms.

So...do you have what it takes to be a hero...? Or someone else's hero for that matter...

Well let's see what we can do for our 3 birthday boys when the time comes. I personally hope we can have that KTV session we've not had for a long time, but that's subject to approval.

You might ask...so what's this? This is Kapo's blog, but there's nothing about himself. Well i've got nothing really to write about these days, things are just setting into rhythm. Some loose thoughts here and there, but nothing really collective enough to warrant a place in this webpage. My aura of invisibility is fading just a bit...spotted during tutorials, but there's no choice because of the projects we have to do. Oh just a passing remark though, in FASS quantity does not equate to quality. The guys should understand this...i'm filming documentaries everyday.

Advocates of War.

2004-08-26T17:36:00.000+08:00

Everyone is so encouraging. That's the end for me i think, no more such posts anymore. I should learn more from Secrets maybe, stay away from the computer and the TV. Live the life of a "monk".

I've never been the confident one when it comes to such matters. Looking back at my life, its all emptyness in that aspect. However in its place i've learnt so many lessons, from my 2nd year in JC when i flunked my mid year exams, my spell in the Detention Barracks, my sickening maintainance days in the army, and many other trials and tribulations. These experiences have served me well.

I'm sidetracking already, as you can see. You realise how big that barrier in my mind is. I'm afraid of failure, afraid of rejection, afraid of the impact it will have on me.

Seems like Mot and Shao have rubbed of some of their choice theory on me. Bruce's post has been very much enlightening as well. But i'm sorry, it seems like all this while, i'm the deadest fish...errr frog, around. I have nothing to show, nothing to offer, nothing at all. I'm not even a prisoner of war, or even a casualty of war. Because i've never took part in one. I'm the ultimate loser of war, the one who runs away on an airplane to Euphoria before anything happens.

Seems like NATO can now also mean "No Action, Think Only".

I will try to get out of this undesirable organisation. Hopefully this post will be the last of all these sad things. I've exposed my inner most thoughts already, I will post entertainment from now on to try and push this post to the bottom so people wun get to read it too often.

你是如此难以忘记...

2004-08-25T19:56:00.000+08:00

Seems like everyone has a theme song nowadays. Mot's song is 没有灯火的 White Christmas, Shao's song is 旧爱还是最美, and i think Bruce's one should now be 你是我胸口永远的痛, instead of Fins. Time to think of a new one for Fins, Secrets, and the swordless one. Should be easy to find one for Yinhao, but the other 2...quite challenging.

Anyway here's my song, and the more i listen to it the more i feel that way...although there was nothing to start with. Other than the 1st line maybe, everything else really relates to me. That's what i think anyway.

你是如此难以忘记
梁朝伟 (hope i got the name right)

早已知道爱情是难舍难离
早已知道爱一个人不该死心塌地
早已不再相信所谓天长地久的结局

所以我习惯了一个人的孤寂
所以我习惯在人来人去中保持清醒
所以我习惯戴上面具不再为谁付出真心

但为何还是把你藏在心里
为什么还是等着你的消息
我怎能告诉自己说我一点都不在意

你是如此的难以忘记
浮浮沉沉的在我心里
你的笑容你的一动一举
都是我所有的记忆

你是如此的难以忘记
浮浮沉沉的在我心里
改变自己需要多少勇气
翻腾的心情要如何平静

Don't flame me for this. Inspired by Mot, this is some good blog material. I gotta stop listening to the song though, but its damn catchy. Feels good to type chinese though, all thanks to Bruce and Shao for installing NJStar for me.

Make love, not war.

2004-08-22T23:23:00.000+08:00

Just watched Prime Minister Lee's National Day Rally Speech, and that's the first thing that popped up in my head.

The Sino-Taiwan relationships are at an all time low, sounding off loud sirens in the region. However the taiwanese people, media, and government do not seem to be concerned in any way. This is very disturbing to me, as a chinese looking out at my fellow men. The taiwanese simply do not give a damn about China, only immersing themselves in self denial and having the foolish notion that China will simply NOT send military forces to attack Taiwan. That is utter rubbish...of course, i should just stop here as i am not in a position to comment. But this is just my 2 cents worth, i strongly feel that Taiwan should return to China; it will not have a detrimental effect on its economy, industry, or culture.

The last thing he spoke about was the falling birth rate in Singapore. With so many new and improved bonuses and subsidies put in place to benefit young families and working mothers, it is the best time to set up your family and contribute to the growth of Singapore. I don't have to explain further on this i guess.

Hear that, Vultine, Strife, Camel, and Keong? Its time to do your part for Singapore. If possible maybe you can have a few more in place of M & B alliance...we'll thank you for it. You can even ask Mot to take care of your babies for you, he LOVES babies.

I hope this is not offensive though. All in the name of humor. *dons his flameproof vest*

Converting sorrow into motivation.

2004-08-21T00:37:00.000+08:00

Its become something i've begun to master.

Boredom is gradually becoming an integral part of my life. My computer has fallen out with me, my PS2 is starting to piss me off (i often kick it accidentally, hurting my toe). Video games are no longer an integral part of my life. Sports is non-existent to me. So what am i supposed to do?

That's where the art of mind over matter comes in. The power of the human brain is unfathomable (most humans use less than 10% of their brain. Einstein used 15%). When boredom starts to set it, its the cue to start thinking about everything under the sun: your past experiences, your past mistakes, and convert these thoughts into the power to propel yourself forward. In other words, "ba bei fen hua wei li liang".

That's the power that propelled me to read 4 readings ahead of my lectures and tutorials, that's what makes me go to lecture everyday (excluding that irritating saturday lecture), that's what enables me to go through 4 hours of lectures without falling asleep. The thought of my friends working hard in NTU and NUS, the thought of my parents working hard to pay for my university fees, the thought of my family rooting for me all this while, even through the toughest yet best part of my life, my Junior College years; they have given me the motivation, self confidence, and pride i thrive upon.

With that said, may i say being the Stealth Assassin...is not for the weak-hearted. Nor is it an easy way out, because you must face the consequences of turning yourself permanently invisible to the naked eye. Not everyone has the capacity and ability to play the SA, noobs usually get pawned (that's where anti socials come from).

And therefore, i'm so, very proud of everyone i know, because all of them are unique, knowledgeble, and entertaining in one way or another. To entertain them, to create fun and laughter, pride and joy, is the best thing that i can ever do. Thank you for letting me into your lives and keep on rollin' baby. My ears are yours whenever you need one, my tummy is here for you to lie on if you need a pillow.

Thank you everyone for being part of my life. Without you guys, i literally be a dead fish...errr frog, i guess.

p.s. in case some of the guys are too dense (to understand what i said), this refers to you guys too. (do i have to list everyone of you...? i hope not.)

Lonely no more...

2004-08-19T19:05:00.001+08:00

I got my reply soon enough, in the wee hours of the morning at around 1 am. I was exhilarated and really looking forward to it.

Got up early in the morning to do up Secret's and my tutorial swapping, and got down to doing my tutorials after that. Couldn't wait for 1645 to come, as we we're going to meet at 1730 at City Hall MRT station. I flipped around impatiently in bed, trying to take a nap but to no avail. Actually it was because my brother was playing Winning Eleven 8 in my room while blasting my songs away from the computer.

But eventually the time came, and I left the house eagerly...

Slim and slender, small, and easy to handle...the Apple of my eye. Something i've always wanted, and even had at one stage, but i never cherished it. Finally i've got it, and i promise i'll take good care of it...

Guys, meet my brand new Gold coloured iPod mini! Its as small as my handphone, and can hold all the songs in my hard disk, i think. Its something i really looked forward to getting, it looks great too. Can't wait to show you guys. Trips to Clementi MRT station will never be the same again!

Wait a minute...you guys were expecting something else? Dream on baby, i'm totally in love with my newest gadget. Don't take away my share of the turkey during christmas.

I've already worn my flame-proof suit, so give it to me guys. I'm ready for it.

p.s. Get the pun? the "apple" of my eye...HAHA.

We spend most of our lives waiting for something.

2004-08-19T10:31:00.000+08:00

I forgot the exact number, but waiting takes up a significant part of our time on this earth. Like someone once said, deng dai shi man chang de. Sorry, i can't type chinese words, so i'm waiting for Shao's office cd. Then i can start spewing those chinese text like the rest...seems to pep things up a bit.

So what am i waiting for? My tutorial swap requests, and the most important of all...companionship. I think my tutorial swap request won't be granted though, although i already tweaked my timetable a bit so my Mondays and Thursdays are still free. As for companionship? I'm waiting for that reply...and i hope it will come today. I WILL disclose my companion once i have it in my hands, so wait for it. This sounds like some advertisment to keep people reading my blog. Hmmm...

Please grant me my wishes, whatever unearthly entity there is out there...although i'm a free thinker with no religion really. Maybe i should start praying to God, offering incense to Tua Peh Gong, or start burning Kim Chua for my wonderful paternal grandfather who passed away when i was 3 years old. I'm almost level 25 now, please...just give me this small request of companionship.

This can't be happening...

2004-08-17T10:33:00.000+08:00

I woke up at 1015. What's the problem with that? I have lecture at 1000. Great start to the week, huh?

This is nuts...i can't take it. I'm going to whip out my sociology and english texts and start reading. After that, its my downloaded readings. As well as the downloaded chinese lecture. I really hope i don't miss out anything important today...at least its only chinese lecture.

Must make up for lost time now. This must not become a habit...sorry guys. No more late night DoTA for me.

The real thing is coming.

2004-08-16T19:58:00.000+08:00

Tutorials are around the corner. That's both good AND bad, i'm hoping for the best though.

Seems like someone is getting creative with his Blogs. My mind is blank now...i wonder how you can churn out those song titles. Off the top of your head? I have a feeling you subconcsiously "forgot" to charge your handphone and bring your camera though. Heh, no offense. I don't think the rest mind either.

Let's see when i can break invisibility and start killing people. Hopefully it will be soon, although i'm not expecting anything. Sticking around and soaking experience is good enough for me. On the contrary...seems like our commando (behind enemy lines) and our samurai-who-lost-his-sword (meikyo shisui used) have penetrated the opposite gender's defenses. Congratulations to both! Hope Mot's rockets (yan huo) can brighten up your life (and her's), and perhaps it might be only 3 people having the turkey only...without the fireworks on Christmas. But look on the bright side, you have my lovely christmas tree to look at while we waste our Christmas night away.

Oh by the way, the 3 people should not include you Shao...unless you wanna join me, Mot and Secrets. Secrets is anti-commitment while Mot is a dead fish. I'm the Stealth Assassin. You're like the advocate of this war against the opposite sex...you're not supposed to be eating turkey in peacetime.

The moment we've been waiting for...

2004-08-15T01:55:00.000+08:00

Finally, Winning Eleven 8 is out! And its better, more realistic, and more challenging than ever.

Spent 3-4 hours trying to edit most of the names. Hope everyone can benefit from it, and i really look forward to playing with my chums. The gameplay has changed significantly...its getting even more real now. The advancements in video game technology never cease to amaze and fascinate me.

I'm absolutely hooked to the damn machine now. But of course, let me finish reading my sociology, geography, and english stuff before anything starts to go wrong...i must not repeat my mistakes again.

Its showtime again boys...let the games begin! Remember to do your tutorials though...

Professors are cool.

2004-08-13T21:07:00.000+08:00

Really, all my professors are really great people. Can't say enough about them, and maybe its because its FASS, that's why they're all very witty and well spoken. The last 2 lectures of my week are English and Geography, and they come in a ruthless 4 hour session. But i'll probably survive it...it looks really interesting. That's probably why they're called professors too.

When i meant i'm not a good conductor of heat...that's what i meant Bruce. If something happen's i'll combust, i can't stop that no matter what. But i'm not one to make that happen. I believe in fate. Actually, i rely on fate. Its not good, but its my nature. Who doesn't want a companion to rely on, a companion to complain to, to take care of, and to be taken care of? Its a part of life i never want to miss out. But its will all depend on fate...

Oh yes, congratulations to Yinhao for finally getting his driving license! Waiting for your supper call...

Hmmm...something's wrong.

2004-08-12T22:42:00.000+08:00

I woke up today with a strange feeling of calmness...as if i stepped out of the right side of my bed, instead of the wrong side. Oh i get it...there's no lecture today! Heh heh.

So what did I do today that's worth mentioning? Nothing much, nothing constructive. Except maybe read my geography lecture notes, that is. I'm still waiting for the SGD$500 plus to be remitted to my account so i can get my MP3 player. And pay for those texts in school (very much secondary compared to my player).

Everyone is busy now, good luck guys. Hope we still have time during weekends to get together. My SA's level is ever increasing, so you're my best bet of actually breaking my invisibility and getting in contact with civilisation. Sounds pathetic, but fits me perfectly. I'm a passive person, i don't make things happen. And no amount of persuasion will change that...unless there's a spark. And i'm a bad conductor of heat...I don't catch fire very easily. Unlike you guys, especially the sword wielding samurai, the gungho commando, and the reincarnating Leoric. I'm behind you guys all the way.

Incomplete...

2004-08-11T19:20:00.000+08:00

Its the 2nd time i'm late for lecture. Fortunately i didn't miss anything. Chemistry in science feels good, the universe and space has always been one of my favourite topics as a child, and now i have the chance to learn about it in greater depth.

Seems like 2 hours is not that long after all. Lunch and a bit of reading at the library fits into that time slot nicely. But the central library seems so crowded and a tad unfriendly...unlike the Chinese library. For the perhaps 2nd time in my life, i seriously sat down to read my English text, highlighting the words that i did not understand. For once, i felt my GP had ditched me and went for lunch. Maybe the book is too much for my post-NS brain...

And the ever so friendly Lingyun (Shao, not the Lingyun you know. ^^) "convieniently" walked me to my next lecture with one of her friends. Thanks! (i mean this, not being sarcastic here.)

Its so refreshing to hear my Ang Moh lecturers. They speak with lots of built in humor and gusto. No wonder they're highly rated and highly paid, for that matter... I absolutely enjoyed my 2 lectures today. If only it didn't end so late...

Seems like a great day for me. But its incomplete...

Just one more message would have really made my day, made me smile, made me sleep soundly at night. Anything would do...a simple laugh, some encouraging words, or even a snide remark. But it never came. Its so trivial, yet so important to me. A piece of the puzzle is lost...no matter how small it may be.

LMAO...

2004-08-10T23:45:00.000+08:00

Mot, i seriously think you play too much DOTA. But i think your analogy is damn funny, good job man. I was really LMAO.

Oh by the way secrets, i hope you're reading this, i think i'm looking forward to your new house (or should i say penthouse) more than you are. Never seen a penthouse before...remember to invite us when its ready.

I've gotten over the whole "Uncle" thingy. I really have! *grumble grumble...*

1st day of school...

2004-08-10T14:42:00.000+08:00

Its the 1st day of university, and i'm already 30 minutes late for my Chinese Language lecture. Don't blame me, blame the {Incredibly Tough} queue at the clementi bus interchange...i finished my fillet o' fish meal while waiting for the bus.

Its really quite a torture reading chinese characters again. Hard for both my eyes and my brain. Its like...running warcraft III on a 1 GHZ computer. Slow, laggy, and a very bad experience. Time to hit the news stand for the latest chinese papers. Wait, the lecturer said even the Lianhe Zaobao has language problems...does this mean i have to read the Beijing Times? Great.

And something horrific happened to me when i reached home. A small boy selling pens asked me if i wanted to buy 3 pens for SGD$3.00. The only problem was he was calling me "Uncle, Uncle". Oh my god...i'm so devastated.

Happy Birthday Singapore!

2004-08-10T13:00:00.000+08:00

Its Singapore's 39th birthday!

But i wonder, how many people actually realise how much effort Singapore's leaders have put in until today? Who really appreciates all this work our predecessors have done?

Look at what many people are concerned about now...him/her, him/herself, and him/herself only. Taxi drivers complain about the road tax and oil prices, and hawkers complain about bird flu, bad business, and pesky health inspectors. And some others simply complain about everything under the sun.

Has everyone stopped to think for once, why we're living in a cosy, safe, and prosperous environment? Its because our government is actually doing a good job, whether you like it or not. How often have government policies failed us? Good medicine is bitter...and some people just choose to bitch about it instead conforming to the situation.

The bottom line is, stop bitching about how BAD the government is. In actual fact i've seen much less of it in recent times, but its still a point i want to drive home. People say there are too many laws, there is no political opposition, and some other's just think anywhere (they mean the USA, UK, or any rich developed country) is better than small little Singapore. Without the stringent laws, we won't have one of the lowest crime rates in the world. If opposition parties had well groomed politicians that focused on making Singapore a better place to live in instead of bad mouthing the PAP or harping on minor, senseless issues, then perhaps our PAP won't be as dominant, and competition is always good. If being a 2nd class citizen in any other European or American based country suits you, then go ahead. No one will stop you.

This is purely my 2 cents worth...and i've always thought this way. Great job, PAP! I'm behind you all the way (until you make a grave mistake, that is). You've most probably got my vote when i turn 21.

Pyrotechnics! With the wrong people...

2004-08-09T15:39:00.000+08:00

Watched the fireworks display at the Esplanade today with my bums. Great lot as usual, but obviously the wrong lot to watch a fireworks display with...I also realised how inportant a handphone is today. And how much trouble you have when you lose one (especially if its SGD$1000).

Had a great dinner/supper at Longhouse, it serves GREAT porridge. Try it, and the western food looks good too...too bad the goreng pisang stall was closed when we got there.

Fins, the 1st thing i thought of when i saw your face at Breadtalk was:

(Micheal Learns to Rock: That's Why (You Go Away))
"Baby won't you tell me why
There is sadness in your eyes"

Good to know that it still spoils your mood, and also that you've gotten over it. Shows good signs...a true commando. Good luck to you man.

As for me, i'm pretty much married to my computer. I'll spend my days walking stealthily between my tutorial classes, my Lecture Theaters, the FASS canteen (yum yum), and the bus stop. GG.

ZZZzzzzz....

2004-08-09T06:15:00.000+08:00

Woke up at 1 pm....AGAIN.
Thanks to Zhimin who woke me up with your call, or i think i would have spent another 30 minutes lazing in bed.
Going to watch fireworks in town later, i really hope we can have a cheap dinner more than anything else...i wish my figure was as good as my wallet's. Where to find vitamin M supplements? Time to sell my FFXI gil...
Actually quite sad, but really not much time to play FFXI. Especially now, all my real life friends are not playing anymore. But it IS my 1st MMORPG after all, i'll never forget the great times i had online. I hope the linkshell is still there even after my account is deleted...
Sorry guys, no HNM, no Kirin, no shit for me...I really hoped to see some of you in real life, don't think will have the chance. Always wanted to see what kind of a person you all are behind the monitor. Anyways, good luck in whatever you guys do. Hope some of you guys read this heh.

Malnutrition...

2004-08-08T07:30:00.000+08:00

These days suffering from malnutrition...lack of Vitamin M (money). Phone bill lah, Books lah, concession lah, and lots of other crap...time to budget. U heard me hor...try not to eat Jack's Place again ok? Sometimes chicken rice also not bad.

Saw a lovely card today at Card's and Such...an encouragement card. Its very, very sweet... For those amber lights out there, maybe you can get one to turn your light red. Its SGD$2.50, i saw it at Causeway Point, at the counter. Once you see it you'll know what i mean...wonderful stuff.

Time to play video games. Won't be playing them for a long time once school starts...good luck to me.

1st Post!

2004-08-07T01:55:00.000+08:00

Wow, never tried this before...
This should be fun.
University is starting soon, no more slacking around, sleeping till 2 pm, or sleeping at 5 am playing games. May Lady Luck shine on me, so that i can get out of this vicious cycle...
Dunnoe wat to say. Maybe this is 5-min enthusiasm only =D